Stepping away is hard. Slowing down is rough. Living at a slower pace is difficult.
Vacation and returning from vacation is always a reminder of these facts for me. As I draw close to having been home 24 hours from a great vacation , I find myself filling my open, relaxed, creative mind with untimely tasks and work. It makes me smile in frustration. It makes me laugh at my silliness. It makes me wonder though whether I'm addicted to cortisol, the byproduct of stress in our bodies.
I live with a full schedule without much room to breath. The stress of the day excites me, drives me, and is a space where I perform better than others. I exist there a lot. Even with the downsides, short temper, more talking than listening, and struggles to grow community, I pursue the rush that comes from a cortisol shower.
Is this healthy? How can I shift this? Is there a new road forward? Vacation has brought me space and time to reflect on the sustainability of me. I'm hoping to let a new chemical, the one that comes from noticing, smiling, and being, be a much greater driver of my 20th school year as a leader, learner, and servant to others.
I'll need a huge level of support and strength to make my hope a long-term realty. Let cortisol take its rightful role, and let the energy of my life come from a fresh place.